The card is still blank. It’s the week before Thanksgiving break. You’re on your bed with a pen you borrowed from the kitchen drawer, and the only thing you’ve written is her name. Every time you start the next line, it comes out “Thank you for everything,” and you stop.
If you’re thankful for your sorority sisters and can’t get past “everything,” the reason you picked is too big. Try a smaller one: the sister who introduced you around, the ride to the airport, the text after a bad exam, the women who worked recruitment so you could walk in. Fifteen of them are below.
Pick one while you read. If you’d rather write it in a printed card, the Sorority Sayings Card Set is free, with cards and gift tags ready to print and room for your line.
The small reasons to be thankful for your sorority sisters
1. The women who recruited you
Start with the first women you met. Before you had a chapter, a group of members gave up most of a week (and a lot of nights before it) so you could walk through a door and find someone glad to see you.
I spent three years on my chapter’s Rec Board, so I know what that week asks of the women working it. Practice nights run late. Whole days go by on your feet in the same shoes. You learn more names in a week than anyone should have to hold, and the smile on the last day has to be as real as the first one.
Somebody did that for you and then went back to being a regular student. There’s a whole post on how rush works from the chapter side if you want it. For the card, find one woman who was working recruitment the year you came through and tell her you remember.
2. Whoever introduced you around
The first chapter meeting where you knew nobody, one sister pulled you into her conversation and introduced you like you’d been friends for years. If you can’t remember which sister it was, ask around. You met half the room that night because of her.
3. “Text me when you’re in”
She says it at the door every time, and she’ll wait up for the two words. Getting home late feels different when somebody is expecting to hear from you.
4. After the bad exam
Her text said “come over, I have snacks,” and she let you be dramatic about it until the snacks ran out, then changed the subject. Some weeks are worse than an exam. A breakup. A phone call from home that changed the semester. The sister who sits with you through one of those weeks is doing something hard, so thank her for the sitting. If the week turns into a month, campus counseling is the next call, and it’s fine to ask her to walk over with you.
5. The share pile
Somewhere in the house or the apartment, a pile at the foot of somebody’s bed has turned into a lending library. You’ve worn things off it to an interview, to formal, to a date you were nervous about, and to a presentation you forgot was that morning. The sister who started that pile let you borrow before she had much reason to. At least one sweater has never technically gone back. (It’s still hers. Say thank you anyway.)
6. Officers with the thankless jobs
The treasurer who chased down dues without making anyone feel poor. The woman who booked the room, then found a second room when the first one fell through. The sisters holding those jobs are carrying a full course load too, and some of them a job on top of it. If you’ve thought about taking a role yourself, there’s a post on leading before you hold a title.
No senior slideshow has ever included a correctly filed reservation form. Pick one of them and name the exact thing she fixed.
7. Your Big, or your Little
One item for both, because the thank-you runs in both directions. If you’re the Little: the first week was the easy part, and she kept showing up after it. If you’re the Big: she gave you a reason to be the Big you’d have wanted your first semester. If either role is still new to you, start with what a Little needs from her Big.
8. The senior who told you the truth
About the class you needed to drop, and about the friend situation you were handling badly. She had nothing to gain from saying it, and she said it kindly. Then she let you decide. Write hers now, before the spring pile of senior cards.
9. The sister you barely know who showed up anyway
Not everyone in a chapter is going to be your best friend, and that’s normal. Most of chapter life is a lot of small friendships plus one shared commitment.
So this one is for the sister whose last name you’d have to look up. The one who came to your philanthropy table in the rain, or waved from across the quad like an old friend. The one who signed the group card in green so you’d see it, or asked about your flight home.
You’ve had maybe a handful of real conversations. But she came. You don’t have to be close to be grateful, and a short note to her will mean more than one to your best friend, because she won’t be expecting it.
10. The one with the car
The airport run before break, while it was still dark. The trip to the store in the rain, when carrying a week of groceries home on foot wasn’t going to happen. Put the ride in the card. She has probably never once asked for gas money.
11. The new member class
The year you joined, the chapter got new again for the women who’d been there a while. Different music. A different kind of loud in the chapter room. Thank the class above you for making room, or thank the newest class for making you like the place again.
12. Alumnae who still volunteer
In a lot of chapters, somebody who graduated years ago is still reading the budget on a weeknight, for free. Advisors. The house corporation volunteers who keep the roof on. The alumna who comes to every fundraiser and buys a ticket she doesn’t need. The one who writes recommendation letters every summer. (How advising fits around the officers is its own post, if you’re curious.) If one of them comes to mind, your chapter president can probably tell you how to reach her.
13. Your shift, covered
At the philanthropy event or the bake sale. You had a midterm and she took your shift without a word about it. A card counts as paying her back.
14. Your study-night sister
The one who sat in the library with you until it closed and said nothing for most of the night, then started reading your horoscope to you at the exact moment you needed to stop reading about cell division. She kept going the whole walk back.
15. The one who hypes your small wins
A B-minus in the class you were failing. The internship you didn’t think you’d get. The haircut you weren’t sure about. The first time you said something in a chapter meeting and the room listened. She celebrated each one louder than you did, and she’s the reason you ran for the committee at all. Thank her for noticing. (She also sent eleven exclamation points about the B-minus. It was a lot. She meant every one.)
Write one tonight
If I were you, I’d start with the sister whose name came to mind first while you were reading, even if she wasn’t the obvious one. Then add one reason off the list and one detail only you would know. The exact coffee order. What she was wearing the day she drove you to the airport. Three sentences is plenty, and the detail is what makes her keep it.
If you freeze at the first line, borrow one of these and finish it in your own words:
- “I don’t think I ever told you this, but the day you ______, I ______.”
- “I still think about the time you ______.”
- “Thank you for ______. I’ve wanted to say that since ______.”
- “I’m bad at saying this in person, so it’s going on paper: ______.”
One practical thing: when a reason hits you in the middle of the day, type it into your phone notes right then, so the sentence is waiting when you sit down with the card.
Want a printed card to write your line on? The free Sorority Sayings Card Set is four framed word-art cards, fold notecards and two sheets of gift tags, plus a guide that walks you through printing at home or using a cutting machine, even if you’ve never owned one. Print it tonight and add the one line only you could write.
If you’d rather say it around a table, host an easy Sistersgiving and read the cards there.
Three questions that come up
What do I write to thank a sorority sister?
The thing she did and one sentence that sounds like you. Write the moment and the part you never said at the time, then sign it the way you’d sign a text to her. If a gift is going with it, I’ve covered gifts for sorority sisters separately.
What if I’m not close to many sisters yet?
Then number nine was written for you. Pick the woman who introduced you around, or the one who learned your name early, and write her two sentences. Don’t apologize for not knowing her better, and don’t try to sound closer than you are.
Is it weird to thank the whole chapter?
A little, if it’s a paragraph in the chapter group text that nobody knows how to answer. Write one card to one woman and let that stand in for the chapter thank-you. If you want a group version too, bring a stack of blank cards to the next fall sisterhood night and have everyone write one to the sister on her left.
Finish the card
Back to the card on your bed. You have her name and one reason now. If you want a printed card to write it on, the card set is free and prints tonight. The next line is yours. Start it with “I don’t think I ever told you,” and write the rest.
Hope ♡