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5 Important Tips For Finding The Perfect Big


So you’ve joined a sorority. You’re done… no more stress, no more decisions. Right? Wrong. Now you’ve been thrown into the hectic world that is finding your big and we have a few tips to help you find the girl that will spoil you rotten.

1. Reach out. 

In the weeks/days/hours leading up to big/little preferences, reach out to girls you are interested in. It might sound scary, and feel a little bit like asking a stranger on a date, but you might just end up spending time with your future big. Now, how do you go about this? Remember that girl you talked to on the first day of recruitment that made you fall in love with your chapter? Or that girl you randomly met at a chapter meeting that you developed a small woman-crush on? How about that girl you stalked on Instagram once and loved her style? Message them and ask them to coffee, or ask to grab lunch on campus. Odds are they liked you too and would love to get to know you. Everyone is trying to make friends, so approach it with that mindset.

2. Remember it’s just a title. 

While social media makes big/little reveal seem like the biggest moment in your life, in reality, your big is just a friend, an older person in the chapter that is there to mentor you. So if you end up not getting your top pick, or the all-star girl that everyone wanted, remember it doesn’t mean that they can’t be your friend or honorary big. You are still allowed to hang out with them, it’s just a cute title that bonds you to the girl giving you your first letters.

3. Keep an open mind.

Just as you hear throughout every part of recruitment and Greek life; it’s essential to “keep an open mind” and “trust the system”. Your chapter knows who you would get along with, you’re in the sorority you’re in because you’re similar to them, so keep that in mind. There are girls out there like you and trust that you will find them.

4. Recruit a wing woman.

Looking for a big is a lot like dating. Go out with them, test the waters, and see if you like them. And just like dating, sometimes you need help from a mutual friend to set you up with that person you’re interested in. Have your friends recommend you to girls and do the same for them! It’s a great way to get exposure to girls you haven’t met yet and to meet tons of girls in your chapter.

5. Go with your gut.

When it comes time to choose, forget about status or crafting abilities or anything else that might affect your decision. Ask yourself who you were the most comfortable with, most similar to, or the most excited to talk to! If you found yourself at ease when hanging out with her or excited to talk to her more after a conversation, you may have just found your big. It’s easy to lean toward the girl that is everything you want to be in life, but if you would be intimidated to ask her for advice or to hang out, she might not be the one for you. Pick a big that feels like an equal and that you love spending time with, because that’s exactly how it should be. Read this interview we did with a Phi Mu Greek Fam on how and when they knew their big sis was perfect for them!

Be open, talk to as many new sisters as you can, trust your gut and remember, whether you knew from the minute you talked to her or the bond grows after big/little reveal, you are going to end up with an amazing big sis who wants nothing more than for you to have the best sorority experience!